Do
you feel alone in your relationship - going through the motions, to just get
through the day, wondering…
…if
we can’t even agree on how the dishes should be done – how are we going to
agree on big things?
…why
can’t my partner just listen to me, and not take over?
…why
are we even together?
Many
of my clients start couples therapy saying –
“We just don’t have
anything in common –
we can't
talk about anything without an argument starting.”
-Or –
“We get through the day
just fine, he does his thing and I do mine,
but there is little
worthwhile connection to keep me going.”
Do you long for a
relationship where you know you come first, and who you are is important
and valued by your partner?
Humans
are hard-wired for connection. When we find ourselves questioning whether we can count on our partner
to respond with an open loving heart, we tend to do one of two things; shut down and turn away to protect ourselves– or – attack, criticize and demand to be
heard.
The
negative pattern in a relationship gets established and the conflict increases. Is it any wonder
you keep to yourself when she is just going to criticize anything you do? or
that you have come to expect the worst response from the one you love? – when that is what
you have gotten over and over?
Is your relationship like a
dance where you are stepping on each others' feet at every turn?
No synchrony, No flow. Just
frustration!
I work
with couples to create that trust and secure connection that we all long for. When
a couple can dance together well, they are reading each others cues, and
intentions while responding with their own signals which are in turn responded
to by the other. When
partners communicate well, responding to
these emotional cues, they are each more confident in the world and can
take
on challenges, adapt and recover from problems with greater ease. An open, trusting and fluid dance is the goal of Emotionally
Focused Couples Therapy.
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), which is one of only two empirically validated approaches to to treating couple distress and the only one anchored in attachment theory.
Where other couples therapies have a success rate of only about 30% and couples relapse after a year, EFT is a proven effective treatment for distressed couples and families. In EFT research studies, most couples (over 70%) turned their relationship around (from distressed – no matter how distressed – to happy) in 15 – 20 sessions and over 90% of couples reported being “significantly improved.” *
To watch a 3-minute video explaining Emotionally Focused Therapy and it's effectiveness Click here
* Johnson, S. M., Hunsley, J. Greenberg, L. & Schlinder, D. (1999). Emotionally focused couples therapy: Status and challenges. Clinical Psychology:Science and Practice, 6, 67-79.